A man goes to a strip…

A man goes to a strip club with an alligator. He says, "I bet you that I can put my dick into this alligator's mouth for 1 minute, and when I take it out, it will not be damaged. If I succeed, all of you will buy me drinks. If I fail, I will buy all of you drinks." The other men agree and he puts his dick into the alligator's mouth for 1 minute. After 1 minute, he hits the alligator on the head with a beer bottle, and he opens his mouth. To everyone's surprise, his dick is unharmed. "Now, before you buy me drinks, does anybody else want to try?" After a while, someone in the back finally raises their hand. It's a woman. "I guess I can try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."
Jokes, +1:
On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, "Mommy, what does bastard mean?" She answers, "Um, it means boy." Then he asks, "Daddy, what does bitch mean?" He says, "Uh, it means girl." Later that day, the boy sees his father in the bathroom shaving; the dad accidentally cuts himself and says, "Shit." The son asks, "What does shit mean?" The dad says, "It means shaving cream." Then he sees his mom in the kitchen carving the turkey; she accidentally cuts herself and says, "Fuck." The son asks her what that word means and she says, "It means carving." That evening, the family's guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. The son opens the door to welcome them and says, "Welcome bitches and bastards! My dad is in the bathroom rubbing shit on his face and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey."